No blogs to update. No story to tell. Its seem so dull. No more write till i find back my happiness. Or till i have some interesting stuff to upload. Or anything that can cheer me up. I hate every single day to work, yes me too like maryam dragging my ass to work and face another ass. (hahahaha) My mood is always down. Why?? Issit because of my pregnancy? Or issit im tired of the boring surrounding. Or im sick!! Nvm... im gonna stop this now. Darrrrr ...
The feeling of been a helpless mom is so miserable! Balqis had high fever on Sunday, went to normal GP and her temperature at that moment was 39.8 she is so weak. Doctor gave "nurofen" give her immediately because of her high fever. I sleep over mother in law house. At night her fever stay to 39 to 40. She dont want anyone else except me. She only wan me to hug her, she wont let a bit of gap between me and her. She dont see everone surrounds her even her dearest abah. Her eyes only at me. So the whole night im not sleeping. I have to cuddle her bring her close to me, in sitting position i try to take a nap but just cant close my eyes. I just scared that anything will happen to her. There's alot of fear in me. Early monday morning rush to work. With my pale face i still have to see the people in the office. But tell you i myself scared to see my face. Really! Hehehe.
Monday night the most scariest night of my life. The moment i reach home, balqis was crying. I rush to her and carry her in arm. She bring her head close to my heart. She look at me with her teary eyes and still manage to smile abit at me. I cant control myself and break in tears. Her eyes show that she really in pain. She look at me as if she dont want me to leave her again. I feel so helpless, i feel like im such a failure. I cant do anything. I pray "Ya Allah, biarlah aku yang sakit, biarlah aku yang menderita, ku mohon pada MU YA ALLAH, Sembuhi lah puteri ku."
I gave her medicine again, and i just dont want to continue wat happen next cause i dont want to offence anybody. Althought im not happy of wat happen. As mother i cant say anything about my daughter i dont think is fair for me. The End of the story, today wednesday i can say my daughter almost recover her fever now is abt 37 - 38. Slight fever. And she back to her active life.
After sleepless night, after tiring day, after all ther worries, last night den i touch my tummy, n feel my little angel inside me. I talk softly " baby you're strong baby aren't you. Your sister is sick and mak have to attend to her, but mak never forget you inside me. Mak wont do anything that beyond my strength, mak will take care of you love you"
Monday night the most scariest night of my life. The moment i reach home, balqis was crying. I rush to her and carry her in arm. She bring her head close to my heart. She look at me with her teary eyes and still manage to smile abit at me. I cant control myself and break in tears. Her eyes show that she really in pain. She look at me as if she dont want me to leave her again. I feel so helpless, i feel like im such a failure. I cant do anything. I pray "Ya Allah, biarlah aku yang sakit, biarlah aku yang menderita, ku mohon pada MU YA ALLAH, Sembuhi lah puteri ku."
I gave her medicine again, and i just dont want to continue wat happen next cause i dont want to offence anybody. Althought im not happy of wat happen. As mother i cant say anything about my daughter i dont think is fair for me. The End of the story, today wednesday i can say my daughter almost recover her fever now is abt 37 - 38. Slight fever. And she back to her active life.
After sleepless night, after tiring day, after all ther worries, last night den i touch my tummy, n feel my little angel inside me. I talk softly " baby you're strong baby aren't you. Your sister is sick and mak have to attend to her, but mak never forget you inside me. Mak wont do anything that beyond my strength, mak will take care of you love you"
My 1st day work without Rita, Kak Zara & Maryam. Can say very quite. Level 2 now very very quite. Im bored to death. All the laughter that everyday use to be my routine has goned. Hmmm i miss them. I miss the moment. All i can say i just cant wait for my maternity leave. 4 months at home its far better than coming to werk. I feel like shouting. Arghhhhh...
One Whole day never ending story beb!! 1 whole family nye story ditebarkan. I want to faint. Now 1740hrs. I have 20mins more to 1800hrs. I want to go HOME. TOLONG LAH NAK BALIK!!!!
One Whole day never ending story beb!! 1 whole family nye story ditebarkan. I want to faint. Now 1740hrs. I have 20mins more to 1800hrs. I want to go HOME. TOLONG LAH NAK BALIK!!!!
Im back to work. Seriously i want to spent the last few days happily with kak zara n maryam. Actually i plan of going out lunch with them for a couple of days. But it seems that kak zara try to be distant with us. I guess she too feel very sad for not working with us anymore. She too feel the lost like what i felt. Telling the truth for almost 6 years im working, this past few month is the happiest moment at work. I just want to wake up ealry every morning n rush myself to work. Im very happy n comfortable working with MARYAM. She easygoing, not kepo, doesnt bother abt others, she smile n laugh everyday. Abt 8months working with her she dont even show any attitute at work. All she say is abt DWI DWI & DWI, and that make me n rita laugh. Me n her have no problem when comes in working on Weekend or Public Holiday, no argue, no quarrle, Hmmm im gonna miss her most i guess. She deserved to be respect cause she has earn it. She respect all the kakak's at work, all i can says she wins our heart. Especially me.!!! I miss you maryam, miss ur laughter, your talks, lastly miss working with you. Take care sis, n keep in touch.
I feel like to faint them moment i saw blood. I shout for hazli to look,.. Im pregnant n im bleeding. It look exactly like menses. Dark red color. One lump of blood clog. I cry. Den hazli try to consol me down. He den bring his ear close to my tummy to hear the heartbeat. There is, i cant feel it too. Ok lah at least it cool me down a bit. Den i call minah, she told me is best not to delay. Den i call my gynae. He ask me afew question den when he say " SITI HAWA awk tak boleh tunggu sampai besok kalau awk nak kandungan awk selamat, you better go down to A&E now. I see you there"
We reach there ard 1230am, while waiting for Dr Aziz i cry n cry, i told myself wat a selfish mother i am. I dont look after myself when im carrying my seocond baby. I drink cold drinks everday, i drink coke, i drink 100%, i run, i lift up heavy things. I just so cruel. My little tiny baby is growing inside me n i very bad to make my baby suffer. Hazli try to cool me down in the same time blaming me also lah because of my selfishness. After awhile doctor came, he did ultrasound, scan my tummy.. YES i saw my baby, yes doctor i saw my angel inside n heartbeat still beating. My placanta no blood, my baby inside my womb, everthing look just fine. So Doctor says your baby might be fine now but i cant gurantine you. Cause i refuse to be admitted so i have to take the risk. The blood is from my cervix.But this bleed cannot be worst, it will affect my waterbag. Doctor gave me so many medicine and i must complete it. I have to bedrriden for 1 weeks until i stop bleeding.Hospitalization leave for a week. Cannot go anywhere except for toilet only. (havent infom markus yet. ) So i cannot be selfish anymore. Must strictly look after myself. Its for my tiny angel inside me. Mak love you sayang, althougt you're not fully form but i cant feel you. I will take of you.
We reach there ard 1230am, while waiting for Dr Aziz i cry n cry, i told myself wat a selfish mother i am. I dont look after myself when im carrying my seocond baby. I drink cold drinks everday, i drink coke, i drink 100%, i run, i lift up heavy things. I just so cruel. My little tiny baby is growing inside me n i very bad to make my baby suffer. Hazli try to cool me down in the same time blaming me also lah because of my selfishness. After awhile doctor came, he did ultrasound, scan my tummy.. YES i saw my baby, yes doctor i saw my angel inside n heartbeat still beating. My placanta no blood, my baby inside my womb, everthing look just fine. So Doctor says your baby might be fine now but i cant gurantine you. Cause i refuse to be admitted so i have to take the risk. The blood is from my cervix.But this bleed cannot be worst, it will affect my waterbag. Doctor gave me so many medicine and i must complete it. I have to bedrriden for 1 weeks until i stop bleeding.Hospitalization leave for a week. Cannot go anywhere except for toilet only. (havent infom markus yet. ) So i cannot be selfish anymore. Must strictly look after myself. Its for my tiny angel inside me. Mak love you sayang, althougt you're not fully form but i cant feel you. I will take of you.
Went to Anchorvale swimming complex with my family except my hubby,. He cant take leave. He have to work im enjoying with my family. The place is new n quite fun i guess. But i still prefer jurong east. Althought they creating similar but not so interesting. Not much pools for adults. Actually im fed up, cause have to be proper swinning suits. Yea i forget to bring my bikini MR LIFEGUARD!! i left it at home, if i will to bring my bikini suits i guess you be the 1st to faint. 2nd my husband. Hahahaha. So u just sit by the side n play with balqis. She really suprise me. The moment i put her in the boyah,.. she can easily float by herself. She lift up her leg as if she is swimming. I was like oh GOD, you're so fast!! Hahaha. I let her float all by herself without us ard. Me n sister stay quite distant from her. She manage to swim beck to us. Suprised rite??
She only 10mths old, come on her dad dont even noe how to swim.. Ooops.. Sorry baby!! 
Your daughter is better than u!! Hahaha. I cant take much picture as i was in the pool all wet, the moment the lifeguard gone me n sister splash in the pools, Hahaha fun n enjoying moment. So only a few pic taken by Nazzeera..
Look at how fast my princess grow.. She is our diamond. She has complete our life althought we want more. No matter how tired will be, upon seeing her all the tired just vanish. She bring happiness to my family, her smile melted us. I love you princess althought you gonna share our love with your coming siblings, we promised you that our love to you wont never be lesser infact it gonna grow stronger.. look at her below
She Got My Car Key
Ngup!
Merajuk!
She's With The Wig
She Got My Car Key
Ngup!
Merajuk!
Mucung Ikut Siaper Agaknye!
Look at her style of sleeping, like her dad !
Im back after finding time to touch my notebook again. I guess i ever mention that i want to let out a secret which i guess most of my close babes noe..
Went to my gynae and im confirm 2 months pregnant. YEA!!! I gonna have another baby.. My family is growing. N i love it so much. My princess gonna be big sister now. After knowing im pregnant i immediately pray Solat Shukur. I thanks Allah swt. I may not be rich, i may be strugging to live but i dont mind, cause Allah have given me the most expensive gift in my life. What else i want in this world except for seeing my beloved hubby very happy to hear the news. His smile has brigten my world. I love you dear, this is result of our LOVE.
Dearest Readers,
Gonna stop writes for awhile.
Gonna stop writes for awhile.
Im not in the mood, im tired, im SICK.
Nobody seems to care.
Expecially my love.
I can feel that we drifted apart.
Our marrige gonna reach our 2 years aniversary,
it seems that everything so dull.
Im not sure if this is my own stupid feelings or issit the truth!!
I just miss him so much. Dats all dear.
Not sure when i will write again in my boring blogs.. Darrr!!!!
Doned with all my werk. I finish up HEWLETT PACKARD, COB, PRE-ALERT. Well what else to say work getting lessed day by day. Just pray that our position here still stay input. Vey damed bored at work, how i wish im in the other shift so that i can be with rita, kak zahara & maryam. But too bad me n maryam can never be in the same shift. What else abt work, oh yea we have to clear 35% of our leave within this month itslef. What@#$%^%$@!! dats mean i have to clear at least 7 days of my anual leave not including childcare leave this 1 month. Haiyo!!! K 1st reason maybe they want us to clear our leave now as the business is slow, or 2nd if they want to fired us then they dont have to payus so much leave wat. Rite?? Hmmm like i say no one can gurantine if next month, next week or tomorrow we still in UPS. Whatever it is. I believe in Allah, everthing that happen with HIS wills. N if its happen then it means HE have better job for me somewhere else. I lOVE YOU MY ALLAH..
After work going off to JB with hubby, princess & mom. I tot of getting balqis her swimsuits there. Im going to swimming complex on Monday with rita. So better preapared early.
Haizz i got something to announce actually but just wait till monday. But to some of my dear frens they already know. I just want to confirm and then i announce it. Just pray for me.
After work going off to JB with hubby, princess & mom. I tot of getting balqis her swimsuits there. Im going to swimming complex on Monday with rita. So better preapared early.
Haizz i got something to announce actually but just wait till monday. But to some of my dear frens they already know. I just want to confirm and then i announce it. Just pray for me.
Enjoy below poem for all expecting Moms!!
At first you moved,
only a little.
I could always find you,
right in the middle.
As time went on,
you really started to grow.
It wasn't a whole lot,
in fact, it was rather slow.
Before I knew it,
you were all over the place.
It kind of felt like,
you were running a race.
People would ask me,
if you were a boy or a girl.
I would sit and wonder,
if you would have curls.
There are so many things,
I really want to know.
But,
you are hidden inside,
so the answers don't show.
How much will you weigh?
How tall will you be?
What color is your hair?
Will you even like me?
I hope and pray,
you feel like you belong.
I never want you to feel,
like you are alone.
Your Dad and I,
planned you from the start.
You, my dear child,
were made straight from our hearts.
In about a month or so,
I'll meet you, for the first time.
For you are the product,
of your Dad's love and mine.
There will be no one like you,
not any place in the world.
It really doesn't matter,
if you are a boy or a girl.
We are both so happy,
that you even exist.
The gender doesn't matter.
you'll be hard to resist.
I hope I make you proud,
that I am your mother everyday.
Because,
you have filled my dreams,
in more ways,
than words can say.
It won't be long before,
I can look you in the eyes.
I can feel the excitement growing,
I know I'm going to cry.
Don't worry my angel,
those tears will be of joy.
It won't matter to me,
if you are a girl or a boy.
I missed my sista. My old Changkat Changi gerl frens, my MPH crazy gerls.. I miss it so much. I miss the laughter, the quarrel, i miss the hang out, i miss the enjoyment, i miss the clubbing, i miss the Diva night,.. I miss everthing abt our moment spent together. If only i can turn the clock back, i wish to stay in the age a little more longer so i can enjoy and precious the time i had with you gerls.
My School time, i still remember where the six of us will sit in a corner of library then gosip, laugh, talk abt boys, we are like some kind of BIG SISTA in the school. Then Ning with her make up on even at school, ainun with her non stop talking, zarimah, sumarni, siti mardiana (hahaha) , my bestfrend also like my sister noriza and me. (Noi, u still remember kan) The six sista. Its really fun. Also in my mind the time we ran from lesson. Trying hard to climb over the gate. Hahaha luckly never get hook up there. After school i werk at MPH, I bring along noriza and Ning. 3 of us in mph, there i meet minah, nirwana, wani, kak dayang, all other crazy babes..
Thats was so much fun. Although i quarrel alot with Noriza because of other mouth but still i did enjoy the moment. When the gap happen between me n noi, i got attached with minah. We grew closer day by day. She's too like a sister to me. Minah if you read this i really miss you so much.
Until then one by one our frens start to resign there is when the beginning of our distant. We move on with our own life.
The distant grew deeper where we all lost contact to each other. Till today when i type this i feel like crying, feel like laughing, smiling.. Its a mixture feeling. No matter wat our past is i appreciate every little thing u gerls have share with me.
I thanks Allah for giving me chance to meet YOU ALL GERLS to the path of my life.
My School time, i still remember where the six of us will sit in a corner of library then gosip, laugh, talk abt boys, we are like some kind of BIG SISTA in the school. Then Ning with her make up on even at school, ainun with her non stop talking, zarimah, sumarni, siti mardiana (hahaha) , my bestfrend also like my sister noriza and me. (Noi, u still remember kan) The six sista. Its really fun. Also in my mind the time we ran from lesson. Trying hard to climb over the gate. Hahaha luckly never get hook up there. After school i werk at MPH, I bring along noriza and Ning. 3 of us in mph, there i meet minah, nirwana, wani, kak dayang, all other crazy babes..
Thats was so much fun. Although i quarrel alot with Noriza because of other mouth but still i did enjoy the moment. When the gap happen between me n noi, i got attached with minah. We grew closer day by day. She's too like a sister to me. Minah if you read this i really miss you so much.
Until then one by one our frens start to resign there is when the beginning of our distant. We move on with our own life.
The distant grew deeper where we all lost contact to each other. Till today when i type this i feel like crying, feel like laughing, smiling.. Its a mixture feeling. No matter wat our past is i appreciate every little thing u gerls have share with me.
I thanks Allah for giving me chance to meet YOU ALL GERLS to the path of my life.
Just got news from my mom few minutes ago, my grandma in critical stage. She's in hospital now. Not sure when to visit her. She not feeling well for the past few weeks already, but she refuse to consult doctor. Haizzz if only she went earlier. She dont have to admit i guess. Just pray for my grandma.
I just dont understand why some people just dont noe wat they want in life? My dear brother, he is my only brother. Of course i love him. But pity him. He dont love himself. He have no goal in life. I just dont noe what his purpose of living? Go out at night, come back in the morning, sleep until evening, wake up only face the pc , chatting knowing gerls thru there. Den go out again. He keep on changing his gerlfren ( im not supposed to call them his gerlfren) mayb one night stand gerl. I noe its not nice to say that, but that is what my brother been treated them. I pity them actually they love my brother whole heartly but the truth is he never ever stick to one gerl even for one day. That is the fact. Gerls out there this is the TRUTH!!! Is still up to you gerls to believe it or not. Pls dont make yourself fool and commit to him, cause i noe him very well he still not commit to anyone of you yet. He still want to enjoy life. Which i guess he is wasting his life with unnessary things. I pity with some of the gerls i noe from him. They are all nice gerls, i did advise to some of them but i guess they trust my bro more then me. Well... love is blind or maybe they are blinded by my bro. Well that his life, i dont want to get involved so much.
If you happen to read this bro, just to tell you Pls change n be a responsible person. You are my only brother. I dont anything bad to happen to you despite you have make me quite miserable in life, with loan everywhere surrounded me. I still want the best for you.
I still remember how much you suffer in life. How much you have to face the world alone without mom loves, without dad loves. Everyone hates you, no house to leave, Hari raya season was trow out from your very own house by our step dad. You was beaten till half dead by step dad just because u took $2 from your mom wallet n the money is for you to eat. I noe you are hungry. I dtill remember that. The reason behind your failure in life in ONE PERSON, but pls he already old. Pls forget abt it n change yourself to the better. You making life worst by rebelling the past.
They may not noe you, they may curse you, but you cant blame them u treating them like animal. You cant continue hurting the gerls out there. Karma will happen someday. Believe me my dear brother. I dont to see you suffer again. Pls ammend your ways. Plsss listen to me. I love you so much. Pls change ....
If you happen to read this bro, just to tell you Pls change n be a responsible person. You are my only brother. I dont anything bad to happen to you despite you have make me quite miserable in life, with loan everywhere surrounded me. I still want the best for you.
I still remember how much you suffer in life. How much you have to face the world alone without mom loves, without dad loves. Everyone hates you, no house to leave, Hari raya season was trow out from your very own house by our step dad. You was beaten till half dead by step dad just because u took $2 from your mom wallet n the money is for you to eat. I noe you are hungry. I dtill remember that. The reason behind your failure in life in ONE PERSON, but pls he already old. Pls forget abt it n change yourself to the better. You making life worst by rebelling the past.
They may not noe you, they may curse you, but you cant blame them u treating them like animal. You cant continue hurting the gerls out there. Karma will happen someday. Believe me my dear brother. I dont to see you suffer again. Pls ammend your ways. Plsss listen to me. I love you so much. Pls change ....
I kind of miss her. Quite awhile i hav not chat with her. Hope you're doing fine. I may not have the time to spend with you during your stay in singapore. Im just tight with work n family. Whenever i try to close with you is either my mom or bro wIll stare at us. So thats is the cause of our distant i guess. Anyway just take care of yourself. N enjoy life.
Just came back from my lunch. Had a very nice and cosy lunch with a bautiful SEA view!!! Me, rita, kak zahara & kak rina had lots of fun actually. We try to boost kak rina up. Cause she is very down. Our company lost 2nd major customer. Totally lost. N kak rina in handling that customer. So what i heard her team gonna do operation... No shift, permanet AM. Hmmm really bad recession huh!! What to do just have to pray hard for our position. Now they are going after the MC queen. Whoever exceed or frequently took mc must personally meet MARY YEO our big boss . They really go into a very minor things. And that very litlle things can be their reason to dump us.
Back to our lunch topic, we had our lunch by the sea. Packet ayam penyet n drinks den straight to the changi beach. Very windy. Had alot of laugh. At least released bit of our worriness. Ok den back to work before any one caught me blogging.
Back to our lunch topic, we had our lunch by the sea. Packet ayam penyet n drinks den straight to the changi beach. Very windy. Had alot of laugh. At least released bit of our worriness. Ok den back to work before any one caught me blogging.
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