Journey of my life...

The feeling of been a helpless mom is so miserable! Balqis had high fever on Sunday, went to normal GP and her temperature at that moment was 39.8 she is so weak. Doctor gave "nurofen" give her immediately because of her high fever. I sleep over mother in law house. At night her fever stay to 39 to 40. She dont want anyone else except me. She only wan me to hug her, she wont let a bit of gap between me and her. She dont see everone surrounds her even her dearest abah. Her eyes only at me. So the whole night im not sleeping. I have to cuddle her bring her close to me, in sitting position i try to take a nap but just cant close my eyes. I just scared that anything will happen to her. There's alot of fear in me. Early monday morning rush to work. With my pale face i still have to see the people in the office. But tell you i myself scared to see my face. Really! Hehehe.

Monday night the most scariest night of my life. The moment i reach home, balqis was crying. I rush to her and carry her in arm. She bring her head close to my heart. She look at me with her teary eyes and still manage to smile abit at me. I cant control myself and break in tears. Her eyes show that she really in pain. She look at me as if she dont want me to leave her again. I feel so helpless, i feel like im such a failure. I cant do anything. I pray "Ya Allah, biarlah aku yang sakit, biarlah aku yang menderita, ku mohon pada MU YA ALLAH, Sembuhi lah puteri ku."

I gave her medicine again, and i just dont want to continue wat happen next cause i dont want to offence anybody. Althought im not happy of wat happen. As mother i cant say anything about my daughter i dont think is fair for me. The End of the story, today wednesday i can say my daughter almost recover her fever now is abt 37 - 38. Slight fever. And she back to her active life.

After sleepless night, after tiring day, after all ther worries, last night den i touch my tummy, n feel my little angel inside me. I talk softly " baby you're strong baby aren't you. Your sister is sick and mak have to attend to her, but mak never forget you inside me. Mak wont do anything that beyond my strength, mak will take care of you love you"