I feel like to faint them moment i saw blood. I shout for hazli to look,.. Im pregnant n im bleeding. It look exactly like menses. Dark red color. One lump of blood clog. I cry. Den hazli try to consol me down. He den bring his ear close to my tummy to hear the heartbeat. There is, i cant feel it too. Ok lah at least it cool me down a bit. Den i call minah, she told me is best not to delay. Den i call my gynae. He ask me afew question den when he say " SITI HAWA awk tak boleh tunggu sampai besok kalau awk nak kandungan awk selamat, you better go down to A&E now. I see you there"
We reach there ard 1230am, while waiting for Dr Aziz i cry n cry, i told myself wat a selfish mother i am. I dont look after myself when im carrying my seocond baby. I drink cold drinks everday, i drink coke, i drink 100%, i run, i lift up heavy things. I just so cruel. My little tiny baby is growing inside me n i very bad to make my baby suffer. Hazli try to cool me down in the same time blaming me also lah because of my selfishness. After awhile doctor came, he did ultrasound, scan my tummy.. YES i saw my baby, yes doctor i saw my angel inside n heartbeat still beating. My placanta no blood, my baby inside my womb, everthing look just fine. So Doctor says your baby might be fine now but i cant gurantine you. Cause i refuse to be admitted so i have to take the risk. The blood is from my cervix.But this bleed cannot be worst, it will affect my waterbag. Doctor gave me so many medicine and i must complete it. I have to bedrriden for 1 weeks until i stop bleeding.Hospitalization leave for a week. Cannot go anywhere except for toilet only. (havent infom markus yet. ) So i cannot be selfish anymore. Must strictly look after myself. Its for my tiny angel inside me. Mak love you sayang, althougt you're not fully form but i cant feel you. I will take of you.
Kisses Ratu Hasya Balqis