me at home now. Damn tired seh. Taking off today. Dunno wat make me so tired. I went to bishan last nite. Tak buat aper2 pun. Mungkin tak cukup tidur. The last few days balqis selalu tidur lambat. Den kul 6 dah bangun. Mungkin dats the reason why i always feel so tired. Sometimes not enough sleep also can lead you to fever, headache. True!

Balqis dah semakin active. Taknak duduk diam. Letak jer dia bergolek. Taknak org dukung. Konon nak bergerak sendiri lah tu. Dah sembilan bulan pun balqis. Cepat kan. Tak perasan pun. I can see that balqis is so lonely. She either have my mother or bishan mother. When me n hazli off to work. how i wish i dont have to work anymore. So i can spent most of my time with her. But i dont think is stabilise for me to quit my job rite now. With the economy so bad. Here n there all the price increase. Nvm i just need to stay n be patience with the job i have now.

Ngantuk already... Darrr... continue later. Bye!

At work now, clock in abt 8.44am. Early kan! Dat is because i want to be home early. I have date with Rita n Man ard 2pm. We heading to KARAOKE, finally kan. Tapi supposely hazli booked at 2pm. I finish my work ard 2pm. So i hope hazli manage to change the timing.
Maryam if you happen to read this just to tell you TODAY got no PRE-ALERT,.. and, and, and, only 6 COB. Hehehe. When im typing this im doned with my work. Tomorrow will be much lesser i hope. So Good Luck, n one more thing im ok with yesterday. Understand with your difficult situation. Cause you always say YES whenever i ask for changes of shift. I'M cool MARSHA! Cume kak hawa dtg lambat jer. Luckly all the COB is not "RCVR" yet. Ok lah. Me want to buy breakfast. See you on Wednesday Maryam. Smile n show of off your "tembam" face always.

As for Rita & Man, we have Singing Competition today. Whoever wins will bring back both daughters home. Yea Yea. Imagined.... just imagine ...., i will to look after Maiyya n Balqis at the same time. !#@%^&$#@&*^$@@#$$$. Speecless.. Hahaha.

I punch it at 12+ just now. Heheh. Damn late to work. No choice got so many things to do in the morny. Tried to change with Maryam but can make it last minute. She have to take care her elderly grandma. So i do everything in morny n like cicakman i fly to work. Wahahaha. Salah macam fast n furious i drive the car. Nasib baik takde TP. As i past along the changi beach i saw FUYOOO, punye lam ramai manusia2 takde rumah. Dorang berkhemah lah, bawa dapur lah, bawa barang pasar, ade sampai bara tv abt 14 inch, ade juga bawa fridge kecil. Nasib baik takde bawa katil queen size kan. Betul nye semangat kental nak berkelah. Aniwae as usul me n maryam take turns like no life hav to work on Sunday n Public Holiday. Rabak kan. Hmmm..

Went out last night. Meet hazli buddy with his wife n daughter. Its been a long time since we met. Longgggg time sound like 10 years kan. No lah abt 4 months like dat lah. The last time was i guess fasting month lah. Now all of us expecially our daughters all different leh. Zura rebond her hair. Hazli say like alian (hahaha) , amran lost weight. I (SITI HAWA) n husband (HAZLI) SUBHANALLAH, badan pun takde harapan nak kurus langsung. Tapi takpe biler kite keluar, me, hazli & balqis kite tiga dah macam humpty dumpty family. Cute kan. Takper lah asal kan happy sudahlah. Memang happy pun, walaupun kekadang keadaan, situasi, tempat, masa atau keliling menyakit kan. Kita anak beranak cuba untuk redha, dan terimah segalanye apa adenye.

This morny going to work as usual, the different is only i saw KAK RINA today. Isnt she supposed to off???? Haizzz how come ah? But aniwae we went breakfast together. I ate mee goreng wit ayam n bagedil. Lapar beb. The mee goreng sweet lah, reject sikit. Finish up the ayam n begedil then put aside the mee. Later can bring home ah.

Den i saw today news abt murdering. Eeerie..
" CHINA STUDENT KILLED IN HORROR ATTACK, POLICE ARRIVE TO SEE SUSPECT HOLDINGS UP VICTIM HEAD IN CAMPUS CAFE"
Dats means he chopped of the gerl head in front of all people in cafe.. Aiyo!! Crazy or wat??

Forget abt that, nothing much to do actually. Finish up my prea-alert, COB & uplift now sitting just stare at the PC. The PC must be so damn DEAD BORING to see my face every single day kan. Wat to do, either us have no choice!!! After this go pasar with mother, den den den den WHAT!!! Thats it i guess.. Maybe go BISHAN???? I update again!!!

Dedicate this Song to My Dearest Sis in Law.

Jiwa gersang merana kelam

Memburu kasihmu yang terhalang

Hatiku kekosongan merintih kerinduan

Cintamu lara menggetar jiwa raga

Bila hati bersama lagi menyinar sejuta warna hati

Kasihku bertebaran membisik kata madah

Cintamu indah mengalun nada jiwa

Kurasa dalam diri jeritan dalam hati

Bila kasih menyepi.....

Tiring day.

I take my off day yesterday. But still have to wake up early morning. Send hazli to work. Then mom to Doctor. My mom cant attend to Balqis, so takde chance lah nak tidur kan. Hehehe. I gave her porridge, shower her, put her to sleep. Surprise she sleep from 1pm to almost 4pm. Mak dia pun sekaki. I wake up, solat n join balqis with her watever she trying to do. Then as i sit down i feel like cooking for hazli something. I just want to cook for my lovey dovey husband something special. So i noe he love chicken.. Darrr.. Chicken Rice. It may sound easy. Difficult u noe. The rice lah, the chilli lah, the soup lah, the salad lah. lagi aper the chicken ezpecially must be very special..Hmmm k dats all. Complete 1 set of Chicken rice for Hazli. K start cooking at ard 5+ end at 8pm.. Hahaha... lamenye hawa masak macam masak org nikah. Reason,.. barang tak complete. 3 kali turun naik kedai. Den gas abis lagi. Den stop alwhile for solat magrib. Aniwae over all hazli came back n ate my cooking when he says its nice.. darrr gone all my tiredness.. Its worth cook for your husband n your husband appreciate it. " To Win The Man Hearts is from His Stomach" True!!

For You Hero Of My Heart!

Guess What my princess 1st step yesterday, at the age of 8 months only. Mommy's angels never stop giving us surprises.. But of course she walk n fall, stand up again walk n fall. Hehe Im supposed my baby is growing really fast. She's going to 9 months old soon. Another 3 month my baby will celebrate her 1st year birthday. Should i held a party? But where? Anyway Princess when u gonna cal me "mummy"?

Last nite i slept at 1.00am again. Dunno why i just cant close my eyes. Things has never been good so far. Actually i did breakdown, i cry n cry. Why am i in such a difficult situation now. I try to hide from everyone, especially hazli. I try to be brave but its teribbly hurting me inside. What else can i do. Late at night when everyone soundly sleep, i pray. That is the only way for me to let it out, Allah is a great listener. I felt better everytime I talk to Allah. HE hears me, i believe watever im thru now is task from HIM. HE love me, HE have better plan for me. Down the road i shall see Happiness. All i need is to be patience, n except eveything with smile.

2009 baru bermula dah macam2 terjadi. Tak seindah yang aku sanka kan. Aku mengharap kan sedikit perubahan tapi rase2 macam same jer. I can say it is not a nice begining. So much tears, so much pain, so much burden, so much this n that. I just hope that i can settle most of my outstanding bills, bank loan etc this year. My target is stabilise my finacial this year. Im just tired of been so generous to others but in the end all the burden i have to face it alone.

Balqis pun kene selsema, cute seh hingus dia meleleh. Aper lagi nak buat duk umah nie. Besok hazli go interview. Kalau dapat bagus lah untuk dia. He like the job very much. k lah dah masuk magrib pun. Nak sembahyang dulu. Continue later.

Selamat Tahun Baru 2009 dan 1430hijrah

Alhamdulilah, Allah swt telah memajang kan umur kite sehingga kini. Seperti Wali sunan selalu berkat " MATI itu PASTI, HIDUP INSHA'ALLAH" selalu ingat kan diri kite akan kematian. Agat kite sentiasa dalam keadaan penuh keinsafan. Hmm 2008 adelah tahun yang bersejarah, suka, duka, susah, senang, perit , sakit, bahagia, gembira hidup berumahtangga. Dengan kehadiran permaisuri kami Nur Hasya Balqis kehidupan bertambah matang. Tangguhjawab bertambah dari Isteri ke seorang EMAK. Bayang kan seorang wanita memikul dua tangguhjawab berat yang pasti akan dituntut di akhirat kelak. Dapat kah kita laksanakan dgn sempurna? Seperti peribahasa. "Seorang wanita menyusu anak disebelah tangan kanan nye, dan sebelah tangan kiri nye mampu mengegar DUNIA." I guess its true.
Just hope for the best in 2009. I get more beautiful children, stable financial, a house i call my own, my sis n bro in law getting married, everything under my wishlist to come true this year. Insha'Allah...