No blogs to update. No story to tell. Its seem so dull. No more write till i find back my happiness. Or till i have some interesting stuff to upload. Or anything that can cheer me up. I hate every single day to work, yes me too like maryam dragging my ass to work and face another ass. (hahahaha) My mood is always down. Why?? Issit because of my pregnancy? Or issit im tired of the boring surrounding. Or im sick!! Nvm... im gonna stop this now. Darrrrr ...

The feeling of been a helpless mom is so miserable! Balqis had high fever on Sunday, went to normal GP and her temperature at that moment was 39.8 she is so weak. Doctor gave "nurofen" give her immediately because of her high fever. I sleep over mother in law house. At night her fever stay to 39 to 40. She dont want anyone else except me. She only wan me to hug her, she wont let a bit of gap between me and her. She dont see everone surrounds her even her dearest abah. Her eyes only at me. So the whole night im not sleeping. I have to cuddle her bring her close to me, in sitting position i try to take a nap but just cant close my eyes. I just scared that anything will happen to her. There's alot of fear in me. Early monday morning rush to work. With my pale face i still have to see the people in the office. But tell you i myself scared to see my face. Really! Hehehe.

Monday night the most scariest night of my life. The moment i reach home, balqis was crying. I rush to her and carry her in arm. She bring her head close to my heart. She look at me with her teary eyes and still manage to smile abit at me. I cant control myself and break in tears. Her eyes show that she really in pain. She look at me as if she dont want me to leave her again. I feel so helpless, i feel like im such a failure. I cant do anything. I pray "Ya Allah, biarlah aku yang sakit, biarlah aku yang menderita, ku mohon pada MU YA ALLAH, Sembuhi lah puteri ku."

I gave her medicine again, and i just dont want to continue wat happen next cause i dont want to offence anybody. Althought im not happy of wat happen. As mother i cant say anything about my daughter i dont think is fair for me. The End of the story, today wednesday i can say my daughter almost recover her fever now is abt 37 - 38. Slight fever. And she back to her active life.

After sleepless night, after tiring day, after all ther worries, last night den i touch my tummy, n feel my little angel inside me. I talk softly " baby you're strong baby aren't you. Your sister is sick and mak have to attend to her, but mak never forget you inside me. Mak wont do anything that beyond my strength, mak will take care of you love you"

My 1st day work without Rita, Kak Zara & Maryam. Can say very quite. Level 2 now very very quite. Im bored to death. All the laughter that everyday use to be my routine has goned. Hmmm i miss them. I miss the moment. All i can say i just cant wait for my maternity leave. 4 months at home its far better than coming to werk. I feel like shouting. Arghhhhh...

One Whole day never ending story beb!! 1 whole family nye story ditebarkan. I want to faint. Now 1740hrs. I have 20mins more to 1800hrs. I want to go HOME. TOLONG LAH NAK BALIK!!!!

Im back to work. Seriously i want to spent the last few days happily with kak zara n maryam. Actually i plan of going out lunch with them for a couple of days. But it seems that kak zara try to be distant with us. I guess she too feel very sad for not working with us anymore. She too feel the lost like what i felt. Telling the truth for almost 6 years im working, this past few month is the happiest moment at work. I just want to wake up ealry every morning n rush myself to work. Im very happy n comfortable working with MARYAM. She easygoing, not kepo, doesnt bother abt others, she smile n laugh everyday. Abt 8months working with her she dont even show any attitute at work. All she say is abt DWI DWI & DWI, and that make me n rita laugh. Me n her have no problem when comes in working on Weekend or Public Holiday, no argue, no quarrle, Hmmm im gonna miss her most i guess. She deserved to be respect cause she has earn it. She respect all the kakak's at work, all i can says she wins our heart. Especially me.!!! I miss you maryam, miss ur laughter, your talks, lastly miss working with you. Take care sis, n keep in touch.